Twitter Cutup


I want to get married so I can have an affair.

Take note ladies: the keys to my heart: a receding snowstorm and a quality shovel.

Elevate your friends into strangers.

Show your mom your browsing history.

The type of guy who takes off all his rings before a fistfight.

“He used to drink a lot, but now he just watches a ton of tv.”

and some old couples often lie and chat over old times till nearly morning

moody automatic sinks

I just googled “Inca Women”

Someone go on a bender with me?

One of those egg-eyed weirdos you see on the streets of New York City.

“I’m like itching to relax right now”

knuckles a rainbow of pain

Life is a party your mom dragged you to.

Be the shame you want to see in the world.

Abraham just couldn’t get it up.

Just rhyming coddled and bottled till I die, you?

I write 100s of poems a year.

I can’t masturbate or else my dick will bleed.